Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
