i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
handjob tips. give me some.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
