eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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