There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
