I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
