Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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