I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
