the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
