No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
