Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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