he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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