the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
