So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
