God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You need Xanax blowdarts
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You pole danced in your parka.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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