so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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