I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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