We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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