dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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