Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
