I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
