Having a random hookup so left but love u
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
