That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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