You made me cry and you don't even care
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
