didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
