so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
