idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
