38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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