I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
