Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
