i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
