Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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