Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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