Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize