That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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