I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When did angry sex become our thing?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
