new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
