he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
false alarm. still invincible.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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