I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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