Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
