Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize