Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize