My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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