i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
