If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
