You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
