Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
