Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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