have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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