Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
