i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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