i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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