The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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