Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You made out with two different species that night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
