you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize