Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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