I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
