CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize