2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
