i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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